“Ashlee Simpson, You are not Liz Phair”

Sunday I was listening to Liz Phair songs, over and over and over again, when my iPod popped up “Extraordinary” and it suddenly occurred to me, “I bet Ashlee Simpson thinks she’s Liz Phair.” This is not an informed opinion. It’s based upon my stumbling on Ashlee’s reality show (is there such a thing?) on MTV (I assume) a year or two ago. She was whining about how her record producer wanted her to sound more like her sister and she was complaing, “I’m not my sister.”

“Agreed,” I thought, “and that’s not a bad thing.” But I couldn’t quite place who she though she was. She seemed to be implying that she was “rockin’ ” in a way her sister was not. When her song, “Pieces of Me” came out I could tell that she was (a) more rockin’ than her sister and (b) not really what I would think of as “rockin’” in a Janice Joplin, Pat Benatar, Courtney Love kind of way.

Then there was the whole “Saturday Night Live” lip-sync thing and the getting-boo’ed-at-the-Orange-Bowl thing, and Ashlee Simpson seemed like another marginally talented fad that would go away. I harbored no real resentment for her though, and, though I’m prone to be jealous of talent-less, dumb people who are successful, she hardly registered on my radar . . . that is until I listend to “Extraordinary” on Sunday.

When I heard that song, something clicked inside my head; I realized that this is what Ashlee Simpson thinks she sounds like, and Liz Phair is who Ashlee Simpson thinks she is. But, Ashlee Simpson, you are not Liz Phair. Even a song like “Extraordinary,” as much a hit as anything Liz Phair has done, so far surpasses Ashlee Simpson’s work (of which I, admittedly, know very litte) that you have to feel sad for her.

Never mind that Liz Phair has an actual body of work that includes immanently popular tunes like “Why Can’t I?” as well as some less popular favorites of mine like “Polyester Bride,” “What Makes You Happy,” “Never Said” and “Fuck and Run,” she can sing, and write, and phrase her songs in a way that sticks with you.

Consider “Extraordinary”—probably not her best work—a song that with a unique combination of humorous but penetrating lyrics paints, in the space of about 40 lines, a really moving portrait of a young woman’s unrequited yearnings for a man who can’t see her the way she sees herself. But Phair also brings a unique sense of phrasing and expression that makes me want to listen to the song over, and over, and over again.

And, Ashlee, she can sign.

Extraordinary
Liz Phair
(Liz Phair)

You think that I go home at night
Take off my clothes, turn out the lights
But I burn letters that I write
To you, to make you love me

Yeah, I drive naked through the park
And run the stop sign in the dark
Stand in the street, yell out my heart
To make, to make you love me

I am extraordinary, if you'd ever get to know me
I am extraordinary, I am just your ordinary
Average every day sane psycho
Supergoddess
Average every day sane psycho

You may not believe in me
But I believe in you
So I still take the trash out
Does that make me too normal for you?

So dig a little deeper, cause
You still don't get it yet
See me lickin' my lips, need a primitive fix
And I'll make, I'll make you love me

I am extraordinary, if you'd ever get to know me
I am extraordinary, I am just your ordinary
Average every day sane psycho
Supergoddess
Average every day sane psycho
Supergoddess

See me jump through hoops for you
You stand there watching me performing
What exactly do you do?
Have you ever thought it's you that's boring?
Who the hell are you?

I am extraordinary, if you'd ever get to know me
I am extraordinary, I am just your ordinary
Average every day sane psycho
Supergoddess
Average every day sane psycho

Average every day sane psycho
Supergoddess
Average every day sane psycho

Average every day sane psycho
Supergoddess
Average every day sane psycho

Average every day sane psycho